After studying for more than 15 hours (10 straight) for my chemistry exam. It’s finally over but I can’t celebrate just yet. I have an Anatomy final tomorrow and then I get a week and a half break before my Chemistry final.
Let me be honest. This past couple of months have been hard in every aspect. Especially when it comes to personal matters. Truth is, I have been lethargic, messy, careless, unorganized and uncoordinated (more than usual). For example, my to do list has been the same everyday and I never do it. I am fill out “FAFSA” and sew clothes written ever since March. Uh Sabrina, it’s the middle of May!
It seems that as I get closer to leaving back to Gloucester, things are coming out of the closet. No, I won’t go into detail but one thing I do want to talk about is trust. It’s a serious thing that shouldn’t be messed with. There was a time in my life where I trusted everyone. I was naive and thought everyone was a good person.But as I grew older, I learned that wasn’t the case and bad things happened to me and I couldn’t do anything. So what did I do? I completely shut everyone out. Those who were in my life, if they messed up once, no second chances. Then, when I met Allan, I was happy again. I felt that maybe I shouldn’t be so cut off from society. I started opening up again. I went on YouTube and documented my weight loss/ maintenance, met awesome people online and started this blog.
But now, I am going into that cycle where people I trust are hurting me. I think at this point in my life I need to worry about myself. I tried having close friends and such but it seems like they do more damage than good. I just can’t trust anyone anymore. I am tired of being hurt and taken advantage of. It’s going to take a lot for me to open back up with certain people.
I think everyone gets to that point where it isn’t about friends anymore. It’s about you and your happiness. It’s about living your life to the fullest and accomplishing your goals. Sure friends are great, but most of the time, they come and go. Don’t think I am being all anti-social. I just think I need to be a little bit more cautious.
Question: How do you feel about trust?