Thinking Out Loud #1: “Body Image”

So this morning I’ve been reading a few blogs and saw this whole “thinking out loud business.”

I had no idea about this linkup! Well, came at a good time because I just have things I just want to say. So here is my first “thinking out loud” post and thank you to Amanda for hosting this link-up!Now, some may not understand the context of this post and there are those who are going to completely get it. For those who have been with me for a while, you know that in September 2009, I completed my 100lb weight loss goal that started the year before in the summer. I went from 250lbs to about 154lbs.

I still kept working out and became a “cardio bunny” because I still felt “fat.” I got down to 143lbs, then to almost 135 doing a lot of HIIT, cardio and light weights. When I got that low, I was very lethargic and went to my doctor.He told me that I probably wasn’t eating enough, but I knew I was; I was eating 1,600-1800 calories per day. I had a full-time secretary desk job and worked out 4-5 times a week. In 2011, I decided to gain back some weight and get back to 148-154lbs.

With the bodybuilding I was doing (more like a cross with powerlifting), I got up to 158lbs by May 2014 and was happy there. Between the surgery in July that caused me to gain 10lbs, finally losing it in October and then conceiving in November, my body has not been my own.

{May 2014}

My weight has fluctuated since July from 158 to 168 to 161 to now 164lbs. I know that during the first trimester, 2-5lbs is ideal to gain and then a total of 25-35lbs. I won’t lie, sometimes when I wake up, I feel fat between bloating and growing baby. I try to think positive and remember that my body is doing something wonderful – growing my pumpkin ❤

{January 2015} 164lbs

Sometimes it works and other times it doesn’t. I’ve been trying to find things that help and here are just a few, if you are dealing with body dismorphia, pregnancy weight gain or even just trying to lose weight;

  • Weigh yourself once a week: There are days I feel slim and days I feel huge. Usually on the slim days I’m heavy and huge days I’m light. I weight myself once a week either Monday or Sunday when I had good time to sleep and it’s after teaching 3-4 spin classes. Tuesday/Wednesday is like my “cheat” or vegg day, so I don’t weigh myself then.
  • Wear flattering clothing: This may seem like a no brainer but trust me it helps! It makes a difference when I weight a flattering shirt and I feel “bloated” versus wearing something uncomfy – it makes me even more self conscious. 
  • Limit sodium intake: Sodium = bloating! I’ve been eating more sodium then normal due to my cravings. I know for me 1800mg MAX is good for me, but lately it’s been over 2,500mg and the daily recommended is under 2,300. Drink lots of water if you are taking in a lot of sodium!
  • Don’t do things that make you feel self conscious: Now for example for me if I look at the mirror when I feel bloated, I feel self conscious.  Just don’t do it to yourself! You know you’re bloated, it’s a natural part of the process. Even if your not pregnant, it happens depending on what you ate the night before and if you drank enough water. Be easy on yourself.
  • Remember “Life is a Journey, NOT a Destination:” Just because you aren’t at your goals, doesn’t mean you won’t get there. Whether it’s to loss weight, gain muscle or maintain, it WILL happen. Fitness is my passion and part of my career and I know I will get back into it.I just have to think positive and remember come September, I can get back on track with my personal goals. For now, I have two to worry about; myself and the growing pumpkin. The need me to stay healthy and no overexert – and that’s what I must keep reminding myself. ❤

Question: Did you ever go through body dismorphia or know someone who did? What helps you when you are feeling down about your body or not feeling “oh so positive?”


2 thoughts on “Thinking Out Loud #1: “Body Image”

  1. I’ll be honest – I do not ever weigh myself. When I was stuck in my eating disorder for the 1.5 years before pregnancy, I was ruled by the scale. I’d weigh myself sometimes 3x/day. Any little change would affect my mood and I wood get into the restrict/binge mode. No way for me to live. Finally, in January of last year, I decided NO MORE. I didn’t weigh myself the entire time throughout my pregnancy and only decided to weigh myself at one week postpartum. I was really pleased with the number but, can you guess what started to happen in the following weeks? Yup – more restrictive/binge behaviors. I haven’t weighed myself since then (even though I’ve wanted to) and I think it’s for the best. I’m starting to practice more moderation and balance. One day at a time.

    • One day at a time is correct! Thanks for opening up 🙂 It’s not easy! My trigger tends to be people and not so much the scale, I could feel on cloud nine but that one “little thing” someone says… will set me off. Like my ex who said I looked better at 170lbs (I was 140lbs at the time). Even though I felt good, I had a guy I cared for said I was too thin… Meh! Just have to keep my head up and just balance 🙂

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